6/23/09

Against The Light - Part 2

The twins laughed when Carl and Marie told them the story.  It was laughter borne half from genuine amusement and half out of that expected discomfort that comes from one's parents sharing something even marginally intimate.  True to the manner in which they'd been raised they shared both halves equally between themselves.  Karen cupped her mouth, as if she'd suddenly remember that on the other side of the flimsy sheet rock wall facing their modest living room were the Rosenbergs, an elderly Jewish couple who were currently having potato pancakes by the light of a menorah alone.  Her sudden outburst, rather than droning muterings of her father instersperesed by her mother's sing-sing admission, is what would disturb their solemn, silent, sacred meal.

Ruth just laughed outright with mighty busts from her diaphragm, only raising her hand in front of her face because subconsciously she thought it muted her unabashedness.  In reality noting could ever hope to mute Ruth.  It was at times superbly obnoxious magnificently beautiful.  It was she who, upon hearing the news of the tumor pressing against the blood vessels that fed her father's eyes declared "Holy Shit, Pops!  It's a sign!  You've gota come see the big apple while you can still see!"

Karen was more serious about it, as had been her role throughout the years.  She listened over the phone as her mother sumbled arond words like 'inoperable' and 'Clinical Trial' and 'Prolongued life.'  There was silence for a while save for the scratching sound of a  long distance call and then she uttered a long, drawn out "shhiiit..."  And that was how Marie finally came to terms with her twin daughters' propensity for four letter words. 

"How are your eyes now?" Karen asked.
"Oh, just fine." Carl said and watched the blur that was where her face should have been change shape ever so slightly.

After they'd eaten and spoken for a while, Marie helped the girls make the most of their small refrigerator and put away the rest of the half a turkey they'd prepared.  Ruth harped on about how easy making dinner was and how she should really try this cooking thing more often hile Karen started on the dishes and Marie advised that, based on the ammount of chinese take out containers in the fridge, a bit more of 'this cooking thing' wasn't a bad idea.  "Only, you should invest in a baster because it was a little bit dry."

Meanwhile Carl was exploring.  He'd gotten up from the broad dining table in the narrow dining room and was navigating the brief but perilous hallway by extending his arms to either side so his fingers touched the walls as he walked.  It was a far cry from their home in Colorado, this New York City apartment.  He'd found the end of the hallway when his feet bucked against the low shelf that stood there,  Instinctively his hands went toward the clattering, and he caught a standing rectangle, wood at the edges and cold glass in the center, just as it was about to fall.  He held it like a precious thing, looking down at it.  Black.  He turned it over, and there was the brown of the wood.  He tapped the glass center and realized what the thing was.  A picture frame.  The picture was hard to make out.  Several columns of dark blue, flecked with gold, and each column tapped in white, and each exactly similar to the other in shape.

"Isn't he handsome?"  Karen's voice said, and Carl realized that she'd been standing there, her pearl colored dress blending into the off-white walls.  How long had she been standing there, he wondered, watching him fumble blindly.  He looked away from the shape of her face to the homogeneous columns in the picture frame.

"Who's handsome?"  He said.

"C.J.' She replied, and in front of his vision the blur of Karen's finger fell on one of the clustered columns.  "Ruth says he makes that uniform look good."



6/16/09

Against the Light - Part 1

He was dying, and she was dying for him.

When they were still young they each had plans, like all young lovers do.  He would be a structural engineer and she would be a nurse, like her mother.  Only, unlike her mother, she would not grow bitter and old and bent as if stuck in the same salary position throughout her career somehow meant she was in the same position physically.  No, not her.  She would remain tall, whip thin, and beautiful.  They would travel the world, Carl building bridges and towering skyscrapers wherever there was water to be crossed or cities to tower in.  And Marie would learn a different language everywhere she went, for there was never not a need for more nurses, and she would be more beautiful for it.

But then there was C.J.; Carl Junior.  And then Clara.  And then the twins, Karen and Ruth, whos birth Marie had always foretold with warning.  "Twins run in the family, y'know.  I told you.  I tried to warn you, everytime."  Carl, undettered, would marval at the two fuzzy shapes in the ultrasound, facing one another like two shrivelled kidneys beans in council.  He would hover over Marie's bulging round belly and plant two kisses where he imagned bot heads to be.  That was nearly a lifetime ago.  Needless say, it kept them busy until C.J. left.  Clara informed them that she intended to go to law school soon after.  The twins simply said "We've found a place in New York." almost in unison.  One morning, as if falling into a dream or waking up from one, the house was completely empty for the first time in 32 years.

Marie was roused  one morning by the sound of the alarm clock ticking furiously, and absolutely nothing else.  She waited in vain for the morning sounds of dresser drawers pening and closing in the other room, or the twins ' strange brand of argumentative harmony as they went through their shared closet.  There were no succict but meaningful knocks on the bathroom door, nor hissing clattering old pipes as whoever was in the shower used up the last bit of hot water.  The house was empty , and even as she wrapped herself in her robe and came down the stairs every ound she made resonated as if from within an empty thing.  She found Carl at the kitchen table, the morning paper set on th table before him as usual.  Only now his glasses sat just near his right hand, folded.  As he sat down Marie could see a distant, pensive olook on his face.  he misses them, she thought to herself.  Even in the last few months when, one by one, they'd declared their will to leave this place he built for them, he would sit in the ktichen in the mornings with the paperand would toss out tidbits of tnews like chum in water.  Occasionally he'd get a bite and engage one of his children in what might pass for a conversation while they hurriedly ate and rushed out the door.  other times he would incite a frenzy and there'd be slamming doors.  The thought of it made her smile, and then sigh.

Carl, still distant, looked at her shoulder, then at her forehead and her nose.  He smiled wanly.  "Morning, peach." he said.  "You working tonight?  You should get more sleep."

"Can't." Marie replied.  "Can't sleep.  Can't sit still.  Too quiet.  You feel it too, I can tell."  Carl only smiled, deflecting the idea with a handsomeness that persisted even at his age.  "So I suppose we ought to...I dunno.  I guess we ought to do something with the day."

"Well, I guess we can..." And under the table Carl's hand searched her out, finding her thigh and masaging. 

"Mm.  Haven't done that in while.  Oh, but...oh no.  I'm sorry to tell you Carl, if you're hoping to fill up this house with any more pitter patter you're sadly out of luck.  Its a few years too late for that, my friend."

"Actually."  Carl said with a mischievious smile.  His eyes went up in wonderment as he imagined the scenario.  "I was thinking we could make love on the couch.  We haven't done that in a long time.  We could start with you bent over the and then--"

"Oh, the mouth on you!  Have you been holding this in all the while, just waiting for your children to leave before you became one of those lecherous old men?"

"Well, it was just a thought."

"That's sweet dear, but lets be serious for a minute."

"Serious, huh?"

"Yes sweety, serious.  You had all night in an empty house to try a move like that if you really wanted to."

"No, no, I just--Look, I thought it would be nice, y'know?  Like old times."

"Old times for old timers?"

"Why not?  We're only in our sixties and we...Alright.  Look, just forget I said anything, alright?

Marie found his hand under the table and held it in hers.  They squeezed each other and listened to each others breathing.

"Alright, Studly.  So after you've ravaged me on the couch.  What next?"

"Well, if we're being serious...I suppose I ought to go to the doctors."

"The doctors?  That's not too encouraging on the whole ravaging me on the couch deal.  What do you wanna go to the doctor's for?"

"Well." Carl said hesitantly.  "When I woke up this morning I...well I stumbled int the bathroom and...I stumbled out and...stumbled down the stairs to find my glasses and...."

"Spit it out Carl."

"I can't see, Marie."

"W-what?"

"Everything's a blur.  I can't see."

And after 34 years of being together, they'd finally run out of things to say to each other.  Marie squeezed his hand.  Carl squeezed hers back.  The clock ticked louder than ever before.


6/1/09

3num3r4t3d

Two hands.
One for making,
One for breaking.
But neither works without the other.
Two arms, best used for folding.
Together.
One ear for speaking into
like a cavern of secrets.
Another for whispering sweetly
sweet nothings.
Two lips for kissing.
A mouth for saying all manner of things
and a nose that wiggles
and gives a softer edge
to the harsher things said.
Two eyes that sparkle, shine, glow,
--smolder, burn, soften, ease, wander, but always return
--laugh, mock, encourage, encourage, encourage.
Two eyebrows which guard the eyes
like gates of horn and ivory
and make liars or omens of their expressions
whenever they work together,
and even when they do not.
Forty -eight moles on the face, neck, and scalp
of dubious purpose,
but they do look cute.
Four hundred, eighty two thousand, three hundred and ninety two hairs on the head,
by my last count.
A perfect amount for getting lost in.
And of the times I've thought
--'She is all I've wanted."
And of the times I've thought
--"She is all I need."
And of the times I've thought...
And of the times, I've thought...
And of the times...
I've lost count.

Site Meter